


The Wall in My Head

by TevinterPariah



Series: Seblos One-Shots [6]
Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Character Study, Empowered Seb, Fluff, Insecurity, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Opening Night Fic, Seblos, Song: The Wall in My Head, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22090870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TevinterPariah/pseuds/TevinterPariah
Summary: Seb had always idolized Sharpay, ever since he was a young child. The second those hot pink heels strut across the screen when he first watched High School Musical with his big sister Georgie on the projector out in the barn every summer, he knew he had to be her. She was fierce, fabulous, and unapologetically herself, which was everything he had wanted for future Seb. When he heard they would be putting on a production of High School Musical: The Musical at East High, he knew he had to be her, come hell or high water.- - -The Seb introspection fic with him reflecting on everything that has led up to Opening Night written at the airport because I'm an adult
Relationships: Carlos/Seb Matthew-Smith, Seb Matthew-Smith/Carlos Rodriguez
Series: Seblos One-Shots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576519
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	The Wall in My Head

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by The Wall in My Head from Everybody's Talking About Jamie  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSPKEgTiwP0
> 
> I want to write a full ETAJ AU but I was really feeling this song in the airport today so here we are. 
> 
> I cannot believe my actual King Joe as Sharpay, the preview vid is absolutely everything, and I have no chill in waiting for the new episode

Seb had always idolized Sharpay, ever since he was a young child. The second those hot pink heels strut across the screen when he first watched _High School Musical_ with his big sister Georgie on the projector out in the barn every summer, he knew he had to be her. She was fierce, fabulous, and unapologetically herself, which was everything he had wanted for future Seb. When he heard they would be putting on a production of _High School Musical: The Musical_ at East High, he knew he had to be her, come hell or high water.

> _“It was something he said, something he said, His words built a wall, a wall inside my head”_

He was terrified to even go about asking to play her, he knew his family would support him no matter what, but he was worried about the theatre kids, let alone the non-theatre kids. Last year, he never really fit in with everyone for _Brigadoon._ He kind of just went on stage delivered his lines, and that was that. It was fun, don’t get him wrong, but it wasn’t that same dream high school theatre experience he had heard the seniors oft talk about. 

He wanted to be part of the in-crowd of the theater kids, be in the little circle that his crush Carlos, the senior dance captain and some of the dance team were a part of, or be in all of those ensemble group chats. He just wanted to belong, and find a place where he could grow and shine in ways that were never imaginable in middle school.

> _“Just one little thing Didn't mean that much to him But it keeps building and building and building t_ _his wall in my head”_

Back in middle school, he used to ask his siblings for help painting his nails and wore a lot of pink, emulating his style icon, Sharpay. However, not everyone at school supported that, and he was picked on often for it, leading to him suppressing the more feminine side of his style, in fears of being criticized and judged. He thought that happiness and freedom he felt before things came crashing down would never be possible again, well until this year. 

> _“Over the wall, Over the wall, I see my future standing tall.”_

_High School Musical: The Musical_ had completely changed his life for the better, in ways he didn’t even know were possible. Carlos and Miss Jenn gave him the opportunity to play Sharpay, even when there were people who could pull off the dancing so much better than him and took a chance on him, the rustic male sophomore who wanted to shine. It wasn’t easy at first, not in terms of being accepted, that is. He was instantly welcomed with open arms to the drama community, and nobody even commented on the fact he was playing Sharpay in a judgemental or derogative way. People even praised it for it? The troupe quickly relied on them as their resident rehearsal pianist, which made him feel even more important to the group. He didn't expect all of the compliments on his playing, which he had feared doing in public considering he was self-taught. The musical also let him hone his dance skills, with the help of the choreographer and his dance partner and new onstage brother, Rico. 

He and Rico clicked just like that, and they found themselves acting like siblings in no time flat. They had their own banter, inside jokes, and mutual support that could rival the real Evans twins. He also met people like Kourtney who could work their magic with make-up or a fitting room and turn him into the person he wanted to be, the person he felt at home being. The make-up he wore, allowed him to express the feminine and masculine sides of himself, and actually feel pretty again for the first time in years. It was if everything was coming together. 

> _“So I keep climbing and climbing and climbing This wall in my head, head, head.”_

He also got to finally develop a relationship with his crush, Carlos Rodriguez, who he had been only slightly in love with for the entirety of high school. Ever since they met as scene partners in their drama elective, Seb was head over heels in love with the young choreographer, but up until the musical, he didn’t have the confidence to talk with Carlos, let alone date the boy. Things built slowly, as they slowly found themselves the last two at rehearsals and would stay talking, or when he would spend every zero period with Carlos in private dance lessons for the ‘Stick to the Status Quo’ or ‘Bop to the Top.’ It turned into after school coffee dates and carpools, and eventually their fated slow dance at Homecoming. He had thought Carlos would hate him after the whole Homecoming debacle, but the boy only loved him more from it and they eventually became a couple. He still was reeling from the idea that this was possible and someone as beautiful and talented as Carlos would like him. 

Yet, it was the truth, and his boyfriend loved and supported him with every fiber of his being. Every handhold, thigh squeeze, affectionate glance, and stolen kiss was full of love and care he never deemed imaginable. Carlos was the prince he was looking for his whole life, the one he was told he would never be able to find. But he was flesh and blood, and Seb’s dreams were slowly becoming a reality.

> _“And don't fall, I'm finding my feet There's shoes to be filled”_

Tonight was where it all culminated: It was the moment. Opening night would allow him to show the world just who Sebastian-Matthew Smith really was, in all his glittering and fabulous glory. He had spent so many weeks in rehearsals, hours in lessons with Carlos, and evenings dancing his heart out in the barn. He had given his everything to the role of Sharpay Evans and it was time to do Sharpay Evans proud. The sounds of the cheers from the wings were intimidating, but he knows that soon enough, they will all be for him. He’s nervous, but the stolen kisses from his boyfriend, card from Nini, and supportive texts from his friends and family help him realize that this and all things are possible. In his pink tux, silver pants, graphic tee, and glittering makeup, he was invincible, and there was no wall too high for him to climb and no person alive who can hold him back from coming into his own. 

Look out East High, you have your next star, and you don’t even know it yet; and his name is Seb Matthew-Smith

> _“So I keep climbing and climbing and climbing This wall in my head”_


End file.
